losing yourself

Have you met the person yet? Where you can fully be yourself, without overthinking everything, without being afraid that you do something wrong?
The person doesn’t have to be your partner in order to love them.
And I also don’t mean love them in a romantic way. You just love them as your best friend, as your soulmate, as the other half of you.
I have.
I called her my best friend.
But I don’t want to talk about the great friendship we had, but about how hard it was losing her. 
Have you ever lost someone, so important to you?
I must say, it was a really hard time.
Of course I missed to call her when something exciting happened, or to just talk to her about anything and everything till 5 in the morning, opening up to her to show her the real me.
But what I missed the most was the way she cared. The way she never let me go through anything if she wasn’t by my side.
This world is a cruel world, and it just felt so much better with a person standing next to you, who you know you could depend on.

So, have you ever lost someone like that?
And how did you handle it?
Actually, I don’t know how I handled it. I think my main motto was ‘time will heal you’ but actually, quite a long time passed, and I still feel so lonely it hurts.
Will I ever get over it?
I doubt it. I think I’ll just learn to live with the loss, or maybe someday someone will come and fill the hole.
But no one could ever replace her.
I didn’t love her in a romantic way, she was just part of my soul.
So when I lost her, I lost a part of me.
I lost myself.
And I know it will be hard to find myself again.
But I will manage it, right?
If you ever lose someone that important to you, remember:
Time will NOT heal anything. You will feel the same pain in a year after that, but you’ll manage to smile through the pain, because you learnt to live with it.
And you’re not alone.

xoxo Dreamer


Hi, I guess

Oh god… this is almost as awkward as introducing yourself to your new class, you remember? You have to talk about who you are, what you like, how old you are… I don’t really think that you all are interested in that.

Are you? 

So if you are, I’m sorry to disappoint you. I won’t share that. But I like to talk about all those things that are going on in my head, all those things that I want to talk about, and if you are on my blog, maybe you agree with my view of the world. Or, maybe you don’t.
I just want to get my voice out there. Who doesn’t, right?
So, I hope we will see each other again in the future.

xoxo Dreamer