Breaking is harder than to be broken

Everybody knows how it feels, when someone hurts you. Emotionally.
And it sucks.
Of course it sucks.
And for me, this was somehow the falling apart.
All this hurt and these thoughts and other people trying to break me down. Because, they did. I know I shouldn’t listen to them. But it’s always easier said than done.
I’m afraid to say I’m a person who got affected so easily, every little thing caused me to break a little bit more. And I wished I would have someone to repair me, but that’s just not how this life works.
If you’re lucky, you’ll have someone by your side, but I don’t. It’s repair yourself or lose the fight.
I guess I lost.
And now, it just don’t… hurt anymore. I thought, that when I’m down on the ground I’ll feel so torn and helpless like never before, but that wasn’t the case.
I just… accepted it, kinda. I don’t feel anything anymore to be honest. I wish it wasn’t that case. I wish I was strong enough to put up with all the things the world is throwing in my face. But I am not.
And now, I just accept anything. Everyday is blurry like the other, and I just shrug it off like it’s nothing. I’m suprised, to be honest. I never thought, to be broken is so… easy.
Well, maybe it’s because I can’t really feel anything anymore.
But it’s so easy.
That’s why I think, it’s way harder to break… than to be broken. Just my thoughts to this issue.
I also think that picking up the pieces is quite hard. Because you start to feel something again.
Kinda afraid of that haha

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